Wednesday, April 23, 2008

No, I Always Make It...

Redhead for whom I am a decoy is in the bathroom at ALLA convention in Birmingham today. She’s doing her business when, in the stall next to her she hears, “Oh, no…” Redhead continues to do her business, comes out, and begins to wash her hands. Woman comes out of stall, saying, “You know, sometimes you just can’t make it…I guess I’ll just have to go up to my room now.” Whatha? Redhead pretends to keep washing her hands as woman opens the door and leaves. Redhead is thinking to herself, “No, no, I always make it…”

When redhead is telling me this story later, I wonder something. Because I was able to make it through the lectures of the day without wetting myself (or worse), was this conference really worth it? How should we measure these things?

This is the future of Alabama libraries.

Listening to: Puccini


Eric Wright said...

1) Isn't an ALLA conference 'unamuurican -damn librarians

2)Maybe the lecture or breakout session was just so riveting she couldn't take a nature break.

3.) Tosca, Boheme, Butterfly maybe?

La_Petit_Rouge said...

1) You can sling that mud and call us names all you want. We shall go on with our marketing sessions (yawn-haven't we been doing that since last year?), book talks (damn, but I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open), do you think that you could just be jealous that you weren't invited to the ALLA?

2) No chance in hell that any of the lectures or breakout sessions (good use of the lingo...what, you've been to one of these before?) were that riveting. Oh, unless she was listening to one of our many inappropriate GPL breakout sessions out in the hallway on our next commercial: Come to the GPL, where we're so much more...(then we'll film some vignettes showing how as a patron not only can you check out books, but you can also get some Mad Dog in our hallway bathrooms, negotiate a hooker with her pimp in our "popular" library, and "make out"-with your new hooker, or with just a friend-in your choice of five lockable bathroom stalls. Yes, these things have happened in the last year. And no, I was not aware that the 80's were back).

3) Puccini's Top Forty Hits (not really, but almost "Puccini's Greatest Hits). I dig Tosca, Boheme and Butterfly, but my favs are from La Rondine and Gianni Schicchi (which I've renamed Gianni Versace because...well, I don't know why).

Listen, I'm going out there today with my library posse and shatter some librarian stereotypes! If I don't make it back, it was really nice knowing you...

fleegan said...

wow. you guys are lucky. we NEVER get hookers or pimps in our 'brary. just the occassional, "why's there a turd on the floor?"

La_Petit_Rouge said...

Yeah, I'm familiar with the old turd on the floor routine.