If I’d known, I’d have worn lederhosen for the occasion.

The package looked as if it had been played like an accordion. It had gotten caught in something along its trip to me and had been squeezed. The contents were clearly visible from outside the package, that’s just how damaged I’m talking about.

Sometimes it’s just a pea that rolls into your mashed potatoes that sets you off. Something small like that, something that you wouldn’t normally even notice.

I guess what pissed me off most was that it was the photo paper I’d been waiting for. A diversion from the mundane that I was looking forward to. I shot off an email to the seller.

"Yikes! I have just received my package of Ink Jet Glossy Photo Quality Postcards, and the package is horribly damaged. Not only is the box partially open and wet, but it looks like someone tried to play it like an accordion; obviously it got caught in something (what, I can't possibly imagine). I don't even have to open the box in order to see that the purchase is damaged beyond use. What are my options? I needed this paper today for a project and can't get it locally. Will you be able to replace this and do you even want me to send the damaged paper back to you? If you would like me to send you some very lovely pictures of the condition of the box, just let me know, I've photographed it.
Regards"

I’m pretty sure that they’ll make good on it. At least that’s the experience I usually have with retailers who’ve been in business awhile. I mean, look at what happened with P & G after I got deodorant in my eye last year (Your eye, you ask? Yes, of course my eye, why the bloody hell not?). I sent them a letter, being completely honest about what had happened, explaining what a moron I had been, and they sent me a check to help cover the cost of doctor visits. They probably laughed at me too.

Well, it’s like what Ms. Donaghy always used to say, “Whaddareya gonna do aboudit? Nothin!”